36 days until mother's day!

I think I finally figured out what my purpose for now is! I mean, for in the mean time, before I'm blessed to have kids. It's the blessing part. See, all of you who are BLESSED to be parents are just that... BLESSED! Children are a wonderful gift from God. At the risk of sounding like someone who just doesn't understand the day in and day out stress of having children let me say that something that has been heavy in my heart is seeing how many families are tired. Where the mom gets a spa day and feels it's her earned right as mom because she just has to get away. I can't know that right now, just like others can't know the loneliness of being childless. I think my purpose now is to try and help people see that they have a beautiful wonderful blessing of a gift. That no child is ever an accident, even if they are unplanned. Life is precious, and the ability to raise and form a growing mind is amazing! I hope all my friends and family who are blessed to have children can see this. Yes, the day in and day out can get tiring, but be glad you have a little one to give you kisses, or a bigger one your teaching to drive or whatever milestone they happen to be at. Treasure these moments. I'm saying you need to do this not because I think any of you are taking your children for granted, but because you have such an amazing gift. I would give anything to help my daughter whose loosing her first tooth, or a son whose being potty trained, or a daughter who makes me so proud doing well in the top of her class. You all have such amazing lives. Take time to take that into account.



I've heard recently from some people that I need to take time to weigh my blessings because they're sure that if I did I'd see the blessings outweigh the hurt I have. The truth of the matter is I do do that. But not having children, and wanting them, it's like someone dying every time your monthly visitor comes. Imagine it being the hope that maybe this month there would be a new amazing person to add to your family tree, and then the realization that it can't happen. Sure, it may be another month, but the more time goes by, the more it feels like a death. I honestly mean this, I'm not trying to be dramatic. There are some months where those cycles are just as much of a painful reminder as when November rolls around and I remember my grandfather is gone, and as much as I'd love to have him celebrate his birthday with Kevin like they would for their birthdays when he was alive, they can't do that, because he's gone. It hurts like that. It hurts like a lost loved one.

So just like someone who has lost a lover to an illness, or a parent earlier then they expected would tell you to treasure those around you, tell them you love them and don't take them for granted, I say the same. Don't take your children for granted. Take the time to give them a squeeze and tell them you love them, take the time to listen to their stories when they want to talk, take the time to watch them play. These things are all your gifts right now. Your blessings of being a parent! Cherish them!



Because this epiphany is so heavy in me right now, I hope to be more involved on-line with reading your stories and smiling at the photos you share. Reading about the milestones your are enjoying. Yes, it does hurt because I wish I could experience these things first hand, but I want to be an encouragement to you that you will enjoy these moments. Sure, get away every now and then. Have some alone time with the DLH, or pamper yourself at the spa with a girlfriend, but when you get back, I hope you can look at your child and think about how wonderful it is to have them in your life, that while some days may be hard, you wouldn't have life without them.

I hope I've been an encouragement to you in this post. And I know mother's day is still a month away, but to those of you out there, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I may not be a mother, but I am a proud God-Mother. I love and cherish any moment I have with my God-son!

I also am a proud crazy cat lady... My fur-babies mean the world to me.